~ Captain ~
Like an unprepared captain setting sail on a night voyage, I hesitate to begin.
I have no compass or bearing.
Looking back I wonder if I should leave you, my port of call.
Tattered and limp sails are what I am starting out with.
And only the stars to guide me and even their sparkle holds no promise of my safe arrival in some other harbor.
I fumble to loosen the ropes, but loosen them I must if I am going to begin this journey, for I cannot stay where my heart is crushed and my hull bruised.
Each day that goes by the more damage is done to my vessel, and so I must go as soon as I can while there still might be some hope.
I need to make a silent slip into the night and darkness, gliding away and making distance between you and I, as if I had never been here at this mooring at all.
I am afraid of this voyage, this turning to new uncharted waters without you.
You were like a beacon in the night to guide me.
Your hand held mine steady on the tiller… and our course seemed so sure.
But now there is the feeling of sinking and I am breeched.
Water pours in and blends with my tears.
Into the blackness is where I am going on this journey of pure solitude.
In some strange way, I welcome the peace.
